sunny morning, java beach

i used to come here a lot when i was pregnant with nino and when he was an infant. i love a sunny place with good food and coffee, where i can get work done.

i labored over the last Insight Guide and Smartguide at these very tables. when i have time, i go for a walk on the beach, across the street, after.

eating a bowl of oatmeal with bananas, walnuts and flax seed, listening to jazz on tinny speakers. it's clear and sunny, we're between the rains.

saw 'the wrestler' last night at the bridge theater with the little pinoy. we sobbed. i was amazed at how mickey rourke was so likable as this beefy, washed-up, screw-up, who could never be trusted to do the right thing — but something about him getting his hair foiled, laying down in white, cotton underwear in the tanning booth, and his sweet repartee with customers at the supermarked deli was so charming and endearing. oscar, please. mickey, you rock.

late afternoon coffee

coffee, such a wonderful invention.

i'm re-upping my contract at uptake -- you can read my takes on the blog here on saturdays and mondays, writing about various types of lodgings, from the funky to the fabulous.

i've really enjoyed doing this writing during the past six months. it's gotten me to check out new places i've been curious about like seal rock inn, and the inn 1890 and revisit significant places like the jack london lodge where dan and i got married, the blackthorne inn where we took our honeymoon and the point montara lighthouse, a hostel where we took parker when i was pregnant with screaming nino.

had lunch with marlowe, the little pinoy, at 'wichcraft, across the street from the chron. delicious turkey, bacon, avocado on with aoli on ciabatta. it's tom colicchio's (of top chef fame) chain that was doing a thriving business last time i stopped in -- you had to angle and swoop in stategically to get a table. today, at 1:15, there was barely a line to order and only a smattering of people at the tables.

you know when starbucks is closing doors all over downtown that business is truly suffering.

cure for pain

on my lunch, i varied my usual walk to pier 14 near the ferry building and instead, trekked through the 'loin to nob hill. groovy urban hike.

i walked the labyrinth in front of grace cathedral in the bright sun, a walking meditation. then i went inside where i was absorbed by a grim photo essay about survivors of gun violence. a pretty strange sight to see inside a gothic cathedral!

it was while reading about these unfortunate victims with these sad, haunted eyes (the portraits were all b&w and quite beautiful) and listening to morphine's 'cure for pain' when the phone rang. i was it was edith. the nanny who got away. my stomach curldled.

i have been meaning to delete her from my phone. the last time she called i didn't answer. i feel like a jilted lover. it's been a year-and-a-half and it still sears straight through me. this time i take the call.

in heavy-accented english she tells me her daughter misses mine, her mother passed away, her son is doing well in school. then she says she's leaving M&M, the friends that poached her. when she told me this in the past, i got excited, promised to give her more money, more hours if she came back to us and took care of nino. but this time, i listened for a while, promised half-heartedly to get the girls together for a play date, then said goodbye, turned morphine up and headed down nob hill to the 'loin.

I propose a toast to my self control
You see it crawling helpless on the floor
Someday there'll be a cure for pain
That's when I'll throw my drugs away.
- Mark Sandman

took parks and nino to a cool exhibit of interactive art at MOMA on friday -- the art of participation. roman's photo is now preserved till 2030 in a time capsule by ant farm. parker loved the curtain of shiny gold beads and the microphone circle that records a snippet of speech, then plays them back randomly and from previous recordings. creepy and cool.

the chron stumbles on, though we're losing my fave designer, jessica. she's going to greener mountains in vermont where she accepted year-long residency at an art community. how sweet to be 30, untethered, with all sorts of creative possibilites before you...

rented 'the sound of music' for parker, in another attempt at introducing my childhood pleasures in hope that she, too, will appreciate them. we danced around to 'my favorite things' and 'do re mi,' but it was the nazis that captured her imagination more than anything. especially the part when the nuns dismantle the nazis cars, allowing the von trapp family to escape. she keeps asking me about why rolf went bad and turned his back on austria.

"mommy, why is rolf a nazi?"

last week of the year

the strangest week on the calendar. a mere skeleton crew at work. people nursing the post-christmas blues - all that build up and now it's over. the wad has been shot. gifts unwrapped, calories consumed, family tensions ignored. but we're not yet ready to take down the tree. we want to revel in the pretty lights a little longer.

new year's eve looms with promises of how we are going to be so much better given another year to waste. thinner, tauter, happier, with more money saved and higher FICO scores. maybe i'll finally lose those 15 pounds and make it to seattle. maybe this year.

saturday morning before christmas

dan is out fetching breakfast at the good luck dim sum takeout joint on clement street.

parker is overdressed in layers upon layers of princess garb. now, she just got in to my favorite mac viva glam lipstick.

nino is alternatively trying to get at my keyboard or mastering his new shape sorter.

i'm still in my pjs getting ready for what will be a busy day of last-minute christmas prep, addressing of cards, stopping at the post office, wrapping gifts, shopping, getting organized. tonight derek and heather are hosting a southern-style christmas party.

the christmas plan?
we're having a crab and champagne gathering here on christmas eve -- hopefully there will be plenty of crab to he had. then a leisurely christmas morning with the kids before we head up to lake tahoe to hang with dan's family. i plan to do some lodging research for uptake.com while up there.

oy, so much to do!!

delancey street christmas tree

whether it's a douglas fir or a spruce, we always go to the same place to get our christmas tree. call it tradition.

there's a christmas tree lot on the edge of the bay at pier 32 run by the inhabitants of delancey street, a work-release program for addicts, felons and the like. it's right beneath the bay bridge. the dudes are usually burly and a little rough around the edges, which i guess goes with the addict/felon territory, but they're also helpful and sweet.

it's beautiful there at night with the twinkling necklace of lights strung across the bridge and the intoxicating scent of evergreen. i'll be on my way soon to find the perfect tree for our turret window.

we were going to stop last night at a different lot, but there's something about that location -- on the embarcadero at night by the glittering bay -- and supporting our favorite ex-cons in their big christmas fundraiser that keeps drawing us back.